Madonna To “Commit” To Baby Jesus And Pay For His English Lessons

The Daily Mirror of England is reporting that Madonna and her 22 year-old rent boy Jesus Luz are going to have a commitment ceremony at the Kabbalah Center of New York in front of a rabbi. We don’t really care anymore, but we’re sort of contractually obligated to tell you whenever these two take a shit and forget to wipe their asses.

Of greater interest is the claim by Star Magazine that Madonna is paying for Baby Jesus to learn English. Guess even those pecs get boring after a while and Madge would like to be able to have a conversation with the guy.

What’s Portuguese for “sugar mama”? Frustrated by her Brazilian boyfriend’s iffy English, Madonna has hired an English tutor for Jesus Luz!

“She’s paying more than $1,000 per week for him to learn English,” a source says. But it’s a small price to pay for bridging the language - generation! - gap.

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/top-stories/2009/05/10/committed-to-jesus-115875-21346389/