Noelia, You And Jorge Reynoso Are No More But We Got Your Back

Noelia & Mexican actor/her manager Jorge Reynoso are no longer a thing. Who will provide Noelia with candela now? I've got some suggestions for her. Vida de Celebridad is claiming singer and sextape actress Noelia has called it quits with Jorge Reynoso, the man that bravely endured her scandalous escapade, not to mention the media storm that followed. It was somewhat surprising seeing the way he defended her, dude was in some serious denial. No hay pedo, I've got some suggestions for you, Noelia. Check it: El Cibernetico Noelia, in all seriousness; the attention you got from your sextape scandal has run out. You can use this breakup to fake a fall from grace and get back up there. Take cues from Britney Spears and start dating sketchy-ass dudes. Start with El Cibernetico! He kinda looks like Yamil, the protagonist of your bread & butter, and it looks like he does delivery. Too much? Too macho? Mmm, ok. Let's move on. Pee Wee I know he's gonna make you feel like a cougar, but hear me out. We know he's gay but he's not going to admit it because it's the latino way; to deny. This means you can gain some of his teenage fame (face it, teens are the only one's who are gonna buy your shitty pop music). Not only that, you can fuck around on the side, since you can bet your ass he'll be on the hunt for boy-pussy himself. Tampoco? Ok. I've got a couple more. La Sista

Most of you might not know who La Sista is, and really, I'm not sure why I do, but a lesbian affair might be what you need. If it worked for Linsay Lohan, it can work for you! I don't even know if La Sista tells people she's a lesbian, but after watching that video I don't think we have to ask. And I really do like the song. What? You're no machorra? Ok, I've got one last one. Ojani Noa He's good enough for JLo, he's good enough for you. Not only that, you're both into sextapes and he's actually a pretty hot dude. Of course you would have to make it a straight-up porn because nobody is going to believe either you or him "didn't think" it would leak. I'm being resourful Noelia, so don't bitch. You haven't done anything in forever and if you have, ain't nobody know nothing about it. Be thankful I'm taking the time to play Latino eHarmony with your ass.